Actual Recent Conversations with the Girlfriend

[after I drove over a huge pothole and almost killed my car]Her: the way, watch out for that'shuge.Me: You could've mentioned that before I ran over it. You couldbreak an axle on that thing.Her: Or you could just drive around it?[discussion about proper names of body parts]Her: Stop saying "Chocolate Starfish" and "Turd cutter." Thoseare stupid names for someone's butt.Me: