Dear Van In My Driveway

Dear Van Parked in My Driveway:I know you have Virginia plates, but things work differently here in DC. See, here, you can't park in someone's driveway like an a-hole just because you don't want to leave your car on the street even though I counted two empty spaces in front of my house. You see, it's a shared alleyway, which means that everyone can drive up and down it, but no one can park there,

ice capades.

When I was a kid, snow was fun. I miss that. Now snow means having to wake up at 6 am to shovel my steps and the front of my house. I have a rowhouse, so it's not a HUGE deal, but it's annoying nonetheless. I guess what's so annoying is how pointless it all is. I don't have a lot of free time, but I have to get up early and spend time I would've spent doing something else, just to get my

Actual Recent Conversations with the Girlfriend

[after I drove over a huge pothole and almost killed my car]Her: the way, watch out for that'shuge.Me: You could've mentioned that before I ran over it. You couldbreak an axle on that thing.Her: Or you could just drive around it?[discussion about proper names of body parts]Her: Stop saying "Chocolate Starfish" and "Turd cutter." Thoseare stupid names for someone's butt.Me:

inauguration over...go home, tourists

I never doubted that we would one day have a black president, but I always assumed the first black president would be a republican. See, I figured that since the current crop of republicans will do anything to win *cough* sarah palin *cough**cough*, I just figured that they would pick someone who was black but who stood for all the things that black folks find repugnant, like this guy, and then

Your Butt Called me again

When I switched from a flip phone to one with the buttons on the face, a curious thing happened. I started calling my girlfriend a lot accident. You see, theoretically the phone locks up and you have you to hit a button to unlock it, which is supposed to prevent you from calling people with your butt when you sit down. Unfortunately, on my phone, the button you hit to unlock it is

Did I Break My toe?

I've been limping since monday. The toe next to my pinky toe hurts...a lot. I tried to do a takedown on someone in class, but instead of throwing him onto the mat, I threw him onto my foot. Luckilly, it only really hurts when I'm walking...or standing...or wearing shoes. I've been trying not to put weight on it, but I can't drive to work everyday, so going to the metro and back is killing